Choices

I was thinking about what to do for Matthews first birthday the other day. I can’t believe that it is just a little over 3 months away!! I got to thinking about how awful his birthday is going to be. There is cold weather, party right before Christmas, getting jipped of presents and all the things that go with having a December birthday. Then I stared wishing that we had just waited so I could plan a nice spring birthday party. This got me thinking though, if we had waited would we still get Matthew? Maybe, maybe not; we will never know for sure but I’m going to stick with being happy I have a December baby because he is great and I wouldn’t trade him for the world! Much less a spring birthday party! It also got me thinking about all our everyday choices and the consequences they have. Something so small cold lead to something so big! What if I never went with Megan to home depot that day, what if I decided to stay at UNCG instead of coming home? I wonder how different things would be but I am happy with the way they turned out. It’s funny because some on those choices were sooo small yet big things came from them. I wonder how the people who for some reason or another never got on the doomed planes of 9/11 feel? Lucky to be alive among other things I’m sure. I have a relative who couldn’t make a flight a few years ago and that plane crashed killing all on board. My dads friend made a choice to let her 8 year old son ride on the back of a 4 wheeler at a birthday. He fell off in a freak way and broke his neck =(. And that mother who was told her premature son was dead. She chose to hold and cuddle him for awhile and he came back to life!! Makes you wonder about your everyday choices doesn’t it?

Summa Time!!

Wow, I can't believe that there is only about a month left of summer! Where does this time go? We have had a great summer so far. We took Matthew to the beach a few times which he LOVED. We had some fun cookouts and last weekend we went to Philly! We had a great time there. Although I could have done with out that traffic. Matthew is 8 months old today! He is growing so much. He already wears 12 month sleepers. He loves to crawl all over the place. He still doesn't stand up yet but I am not rushing that. Standing leads to walking haha. He also loves the pool. I wonder what we can find thas fun for fall.


Yum cheese puff!



He couldn't get through the couch so he got mad!

Life isn't fair

I heard that my fair share of times when I was a kid. I would always respond with "well it's not fair that life's not fair!' At that age my unfairness was my sister getting the top bunk, not being able to go some place I wanted to go, not being able to get the dog I wanted or some other petty thing. As I entered adulthood it became all too familiar how truly unfair life was. Unfairness is parents having to bury their child after watching him fight a losing battle with cancer, a loving couple eager to have a baby of their own but struggling with infertility while a crack head is having her 9th baby and only God knows who the daddy is or the loving husband and father who wants to help his sick brother with a bad liver by giving him a part of his and then not making it through recovery while the man down the street is willingly killing his liver with alcohol. That is unfairness and yes it isn't fair that life's not fair. I'm not too sure where I am going with this post. I don't want it to be something bad or depressing. I was following the blog of the young father/husband who gave his liver to his brother and just found out he had died. So of course it got me thinking about life. I have had my fair share of I guess "jealousy" about other people's life. Like why can't I be that skinny without even trying, why did that guy win the lottery when he already has a ton of money or everything falls in to place perfectly for her why can't it for me? You know the normal stuff. But lately I realized that it left a weight on my chest to think and fell that. My time was consumed with all the things that were "going wrong" that I didn't see all the things that are going right. I'm healthy, my husband's healthy and he loves me and our son more than anything. I have an amazing little boy and the best family and friends. We struggle from time to time but I have never been worried and God has always provided for us. Once I saw this I stopped worrying about what other people have and just focused on what I have and let me tell you, it has been great. I feel like I need to honor those who life is in the not fair part right now and not take my fairness for granted.

Ok I promise my next post won't be so serious! =)

Rainbow Babies

I saw an article on rainbow roses the other day. It was pretty neat. They somehow dyed all of the petals a different color. Seeing the roses made me think about a term I learned after my miscarriage. Rainbow Babies. A rainbow baby is a baby that is born after a loss. Rather it be a miscarriage, still born or infant/child loss. All of those cause a "storm" in the family's life. A baby born after the loss is the "rainbow" after the storm. In short after every storm there is a rainbow. I thought that was a great term to help those dealing with a loss. Every time I see a rainbow now it makes me smile. It reminds me that there is still hope and good things in this cruel and unfair world.

Update!

I can't believe it's been 2 months since I was on here. I must of been really busy or my life is soo boring I have had nothing to write about. Probably the latter haha. Anywho Matthew is now 7 months old! It seemed like it took FOREVER to get to 7 months pregnant but he turned 7 months old in the blink of an eye. I wonder if that's how it is for everyone? He has been crawling and sleeping 11-12 hours at night which I LOVE! We need to start child proofing the house like yesterday. He seems to know where all the no no things are. I hope this isn't a sign of whats to come. He's so funny now and it's amazing to see his little personality. I can say this is Matthew he likes bath time with daddy, his puppy Riley and food. He dislikes toys that are out of reach, naps and the car seat. I can't blame him though on 2 out of 3 of those things haha! I took his 7 month bear picture and I had to do it fast. He did not want to sit still! But I got it and he is growing fast! Still fits in the outfit though lol. It's 3 months! I need to find one that's bigger. Here is how it's looking.


2 months


3 months


4 months


5 months


6 months


7 months!

My first fender bender!

Well it finally happened. I rear ended another car. I guess my perfect driving recorded is gone. Don't worry no one was hurt. The other car was parked, which makes this whole thing even worse. I don't know what I was thinking. I thought I had room to pull up just a little bit more and then bam! At least I had my camera to take pics for evidence.














At least I was able to bribe the owner with an icy pop!!

Time flies when you’re having fun.

My mom use to say that to me when I was a kid and it seemed like we just started playing with our friends when it was time to go. I guess now you can add when you have a child too. It’s funny how when I was little I thought time would never go by fast enough, especially at Christmas time and during the school year. I was sooo ready to be in the double digits, to be a teenager, to drive a car, to graduate high school, to get married and become a mommy. Well all of that has happened plus some and now all I want is for time to slow down. I can not believe that Matthew will be 5 months old on Monday. Wasn’t he just born a few days ago? Before I know it he will be the one ready to turn double digits, be a teenager, drive a car and so forth!! Yikes!! I don’t even want to think about that!!! I guess though there is really nothing you can do about it. Just sit back and enjoy the ride no matter how fast it is. And don’t for get to smell the roses. They will be here one day and gone the next.

Me and my sister back in the day


Me and my son today

Pregnant fever??

I know of baby fever. Where you see the cute chubby checks and gummy smile baby and get that urge to have one of your own, or another one. I have a baby so I don't have that feeling yet but I do miss being pregnant! I know at the end it was pretty rough but I miss my little ok big belly. I miss feeling him kick. I miss knowing he was safe. I miss everyone being nice and letting me sit down all the time haha. For the most part I really did enjoy being pregnant. But it will be a long while before I that way again. I like having this time to just spend with Matthew. Because I know that once baby number 2 comes along I won't be able to spend as much time with him. Plus even though I had him naturally, well with some drugs, I STILL do not know what a real contraction feels like! So for now I will enjoy my little man and get continue working on getting back to my pre-pregnancy weight and just look at my belly pictures! =)

4 Months!

It has been 4 months since Matthew entered this world. I can't believe how fast time is going. I remember when he was a couple of days old and I thought 2 weeks was a long time away. What was I thinking! Matthew had his 4 month check on Monday. He was 15 lbs 4oz and 25 inches long. 50% for everything. He had the start of his third ear infection too. I see tubes in the future. He also had his reflux meds increased so I hope that will help with his screaming and so far so good. He LOVED flirting with the nurse. After his appointment he had his very first date with my friends little girl Carleigh. She is a month older than Matthew. He just loves the older women. We went to the Olive Garden and he sleep through most of it. I'm going to have to show him how to be a good date but since he just got shots I let him slide. When he did wake up all he did was stare. I think he was trying to figure out what that stuff was on top of her head because the baby he sees ever night at bath time does not have that. Poor kid, I might have to buy him those baby wigs I see! I have been taking pictures of Matthew every month with his bear. Well I started at 2 months because I didn't think about it before then. But it's a cool way to see how he has grown. Month 2 and 3 look the same almost but you can tell he had a growth spurt at 4.


2 months



3 months



4 months


I wonder what 5 months will have in store!

Jen

Yard Sale!!!

I really hate doing yard sales. I hate getting up early on a Saturday, I hate the awkwardness when only one person is there and I hate having to do the math when they need change. Yet I am doing one tomorrow. But it is for a great cause. Most of you know I do the March for Babies every year. March for Babies is sponsored by the March of Dimes and it helps raise money to research things that will help babies be born healthy and those that are not to have a fighting chance. This will be my 5th year! I started it a few years after my nephew passed away. He was born 14 weeks too soon and lived for 2 weeks. I will never forget the day he died. It was a Monday. The day before everyone went up to the hospital to see him but it was so close to closing time for the NICU that I said I would wait to see him later so that the others could go see him. I never got to see him alive again. That Monday the nurse called my sister early in the morning to say it was not good. I remember getting up and she was gone and I knew. I had to clean out all the baby things she had in her room. That was the hardest thing I have ever done in my life and I hope it stays that way. Every time I feel like my life is hard or unfair I just think about that tiny baby. That little baby that was back and blue from all those needles and IVs that had to have feeding tubes and breathing tubes, that had been through more in his 2 weeks of life than most people have their whole life and I can't complain. All he ever knew was a hospital and needles. Now though he is in heaven playing with angels and seeing things I can only imagine. Joshua was only here for 2 weeks but he will be in my heart forever. Thank you Joshua for reminding me not to take things for granted and for that I will get up early to do a yard sale in the morning.


Jen

I did it! Again!

No this isn't about an old Brittany Spears song this is just me admitting that I am a blogoholic. I like to write about things so I start up blogs and then realized0 how boring my life is so I never really did them. I thought I would give it one more try since I have Matthew I can writ about. Although I'm not going to lie he is pretty boring at times to haha

God bless,
Jen